


Birthday Honours

by MarcusRowland



Series: London Calling [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Characters Writing Fanfiction, Crossover, Discussion of Soulmarks, Discussion of Soulmates, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-03-11 22:14:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3334724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarcusRowland/pseuds/MarcusRowland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peggy Carter is finally going to receive the honours she's long deserved; Steve Rogers is coming to London to collect them. What could possibly go wrong...?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a crossover between the Marvel Cinematic Universe (The Avengers, Agents of SHIELD, etc.) and the Buffyverse. Some of the other Marvel characters (the X-men, Fantastic Four, Spider-Man etc.) are also around in the background, but probably won't appear in this story. It's a sequel to _London Calling_ , set a few weeks later.
> 
> All characters belong to their respective creators, megacorporations of doom, etc. and not to me; there is no intention to infringe copyright.

**London, Tuesday June 10th 2014**

_"There are cave paintings that depict Soulmarks, and make it clear that they indicate love," said Harold Finch. "In the remote past it must have been simple, tribes were so small that Soulmates inevitably met. Today, with a highly mobile population of billions many Soulmates never meet, and Soulmarks are rarely easy to understand before Soulmates meet. But many people's Soulmarks and personal details are now accessible on line, and The Machine can sometimes predict matches. The government feels that most of these predictions are 'irrelevant' and discards them; we do not."_

Darcy Lewis re-read the paragraph, rubbed her forehead, groaned, and thought about deleting it and starting again.

Jane Foster looked up from the pile of mail she was reading and said "What's wrong?"

"You remember I signed up for the summer ficathon? The draw matched me up with someone who wanted a Person of Interest Soulmates / Soulmarks Rinch AU."

"I'm sure that a couple of those words are English," said Jane, "and I know you like Person of Interest, so what's the problem?"

"Soulmark AUs can be fun if they're written well, but the premise is totally dumb. It's this idea of an alternative world where everyone has true loves that they're predestined to meet, and walks around with a mark on their skin that'll somehow miraculously tell them when they meet their match, or the first words they'll say to each other. So screw free will, screw getting to know someone and falling in love with them gradually, like me and Ian. Hell, screw causality, because you'd need Time Lord levels of mojo to pull off something like that."

"It sounds implausible," said Jane. "Even Thor and I didn't realise we were in love at first."

"In a Soulmark AU you'd probably have a birthmark the shape of Mjolnir, or his first words to you in Allspeak, and he'd have a mark that looked like… something science-ey, one of your equations or something, or your first words to him."

"And people read these stories?" Jane asked incredulously.

"With the right pairing, when they're written well, they can be a lot of fun, but they're total crack. I really don't know how I'm going to make the story work."

"Well, if you're looking for advice, I'm the last person you should ask. Find someone who knows about this stuff."

"Oh, I'll think of something. It could be worse; they could be asking for alpha/beta/omega fic or a high-school AU."

"Dare I ask?"

"Cherish your ignorance."

_Your love is one in a million_  
 _You couldn't buy it at any price._  
 _But of the 9.999 hundred thousand other loves,_  
 _Statistically, some of them would be equally nice…_

A few minutes later Darcy was typing again, seeking inspiration from Tim Minchin's _'If I Didn't Have You…'_ when Jane reached a letter near the bottom of the pile, read through it, re-read it, and said "Yes!"

"Huh?" Darcy pulled out her earphones.

"You know I've been looking for funding?"

"Considering I typed most of the applications I have a pretty good idea. What about it?"

"I just hit the jackpot."

"Seriously?"

"Do you remember writing to the American Museum of Natural History? About six months ago?"

"They kinda blur together," said Darcy, "which one was that?"

"They're offering me a post. Senior researcher for their astrophysics department, with full funding for the next round of observations and experiments, and based in New York."

"Handy for Thor. Awesome!"

Jane reached over to a side table, where there were several money boxes with labels like 'Hammer/Penis Jokes' and 'Excess Physics after working hours - yes, you too, Ian,' found one labelled 'Awesome!' and rattled it.

Darcy glared at her and put a ten pence coin in the box, and said "I blame the Lego Movie for this, pretty sure I never used to use the A-word much before I saw it. Or hum that damned tune."

"Thor liked it," said Jane.

"Thor likes lolcats. And admittedly they can be fun, but you don't catch me wasting inkjet cartridges printing them out, unlike some deities I can mention."

"Anyway, you didn't let me get to the best part!"

"Best part?

"I get to appoint up to three staff. Interested?"

"Paying real wages?"

"Scale for New York, with relocation payments."

"I'm in, provided Ian is too."

"Are you sure about that? I could find someone with a mark on his arm shaped like a little woolly hat or a taser…" Darcy raised a finger in her direction, and Jane grinned. "Of course Ian's included, if he actually wants the job. But we'll have to move fast to get him a work visa."

"When do we have to move back to the USA?"

"My contract here ends at the end of June, a few days after the college closes for their summer break. We'd need to be in New York by late July."

"Gives us about five weeks to get organised. Okay, we'll talk it through with Ian tomorrow, if he agrees we'll apply for the visa at the embassy. He'll have to do something about his barge. What about this place? Do we have to find more apartment-sitters for Eric?"

"He'll be back in Britain around the time we're ready to leave, I think," said Jane. "Even if I'd found another post in Britain we would have had to move out sooner or later."

"What about that?" asked Darcy. "Are you inviting him to work in New York too?"

"There's still a lot of people in New York who think he's partially to blame for the invasion, he wouldn't be safe there."

"I hadn't thought of that."

"I think he's got something lined up with CERN later in the year, he'll be okay."

"When will you tell Thor?"

"I'll call him before I go to bed, then he's back in London on Friday, by then we ought to know what Ian wants to do and we can start making plans."

"Aren't you forgetting something?" asked Darcy.

"What?"

"Captain America."

"What about him?"

Darcy rubbed her temples. "Captain America who is coming into town with Thor and is going to be staying here over the weekend."

_"This_ weekend?" 

"I'm pretty sure the Queen only has an official birthday once a year so yes, this weekend."

"Shit!"

"Don't worry, it's all taken care of." Darcy opened up another document, her 'to do' list. "He's going to be using Eric's bedroom, I've already made sure that it's clean and put in fresh bedding and sheets. They arrive here Friday afternoon. Friday evening I'm thinking a meal somewhere, maybe that big Indian place down the road if he likes that sort of thing. I've got tables reserved there and at the Thai place. Or we could get take-out, there's plenty of good choices."

She took a deep breath. "Saturday morning I've got a limo booked to pick us up at eleven. We all go to Buckingham Palace. There's the awards ceremony and Captain Spandex gets Peggy Carter's medals, only seventy years late, then you, Thor and the Captain join the Royals on the balcony for the Trooping of the Colour and the fly-past, Ian and I wait inside with the rest of the crowd. After that there's a reception finishing around six, Thor eats all the voulevants, and we head back here, while Captain A heads off to the Tower of London to meet up with some veteran's group, guys who fought with the Howling Commandos."

She scrolled to the next page. "Sunday Doctor Giles invited us all to Bath for lunch, he wants to talk Hydra's supernatural shit with Captain A and Vi wants to play with Mjolnir again. After that Captain A and Thor head to Cheltenham for an intelligence briefing, I'm guessing that's more Hydra news. They'll be getting back here in the late evening. Not sure what time that'll be, hopefully they'll have been fed but I'll make sure that there's plenty of pizza in the fridge."

"Monday morning we visit Greenwich, Captain A and Thor deliver Tony Stark's check for the Naval College repair fund, photo op for the college and the press. After that we get lunch at the college then take him out to City Airport, one of Tony Stark's flying stripper bars takes him to Washington, and the rest of us breathe a huge sigh of relief."

"It all sounds very organised," said Jane.

"It's what you're paying me the big bucks for," said Darcy, "Oh, wait, no, you aren't, are you? It's what you're paying me the teeny bucks for. Trust me, I'll be remembering you said that when we sort out the contracts for the New York job."

"Don't worry - neither of you will be interns, you've both served your time."

"Great. Now, getting back to the weekend, I'm just wondering if we should try to fix the Captain up with someone."

"I thought he was dating the Black Widow."

"Not sure I trust the papers about that, but I don't mean permanently fix up. Just… well, we'll be going out for meals a couple of times, and it'll be two couples and the Captain, he'll feel left out. Is there anyone we can ask along to balance the numbers?"

"What about Kristin from the college?" asked Jane.

"The Goth with the piercings and the tattoos?"

"She has a lovely personality."

"She's worse than you when it comes to talking nothing but physics, she's gonna weird him out with the Goth stuff, and she's about five years older than his apparent age and looks ten years older. Also she smokes and he's supposed to have enhanced senses, I'm guessing he wouldn't like the smell."

"Okay… Don't you have a cousin or something working at the US Embassy?"

"Tanya? She thinks he's a phallocratic stereotype. And let's face it, that costume does kinda support that idea."

"Certainly doesn't leave a lot to the imagination," said Jane. Both women were lost in thought for a moment.

"Maybe Joanne from the college office," said Darcy, then shook her head. "No, I was forgetting, she's married."

"How about Ian's sister?"

"Bird-watching in Norway."

"There must be someone." Jane thought for a moment. "What about Vi?"

"That might work. She's in London, Thor likes her, and she's sort of a super-soldier too. I'll give her a call, see if she's interested."

**Alderney, Channel Islands, Tuesday June 10th 2014**

Night was falling as Xander Harris tightened the last rope on the tent he was erecting, stared around the camping ground with his single eye, and said "A lot of people died here."

"Yes, I knew that; it's part of why we're here," said Andrew Wells, who was setting up a small portable barbecue. "Can you feel a disturbance in the Force?"

"No, but I plotted the GPS coordinates on our map; as far as I can tell we're right above the tunnels where Hydra had their laboratories during the war." Xander switched on an LED lantern and hung it over the entrance to the tent, then sat on a folding chair.

"Right here?" Andrew said nervously. "I thought we'd camp nearby, not on top of it."

"It's a small island, I guess there was nowhere else they could spare for a camp site."

"They built a camp site on a former concentration camp?"

"Looks like it."

"That's cold."

"I guess nobody local wanted to build a house here, it's as good a use for the land as any."

They heard the 'putt-putt-putt' of a small engine and looked up to see Caridad riding a moped towards them. She switched off the engine and put the bike on its stand, took off her helmet, and pulled some plastic bags from the bike's panniers.

"What have you got?"

"A sore butt from riding this piece of garbage. Next time one of you two can get the shopping."

"Seriously?" said Xander, "Whatever happened to Slayer healing?"

Caridad glared at him, and he hastily said "Okay, I'll do the next trip. But have you got us some decent food?"

"The supermarket didn't have anything really exciting, but they had those Big Kahuna burgers you like. I got enough for the three of us, some ready-cut fries, chicken legs, onions, and barbecue sauce. And sausages, bacon, eggs, tomatoes and mushrooms for tomorrow morning. Oh, and some milk and cheese."

"Sounds good to me," said Andrew, switching on the bottled gas and lighting the barbecue. "Better shove the bacon, milk, and cheese into the cooler box, leave the rest with me."

"Okay," said Caridad. She lowered her voice. "By the way, we're being watched."

"You sure?"

"I can feel it. Haven't spotted anyone yet."

"We've got this end of the camp to ourselves," said Andrew. "Most Brits don't take their vacations until July or August. And the guy who runs the site office has already left for the evening."

"Not sure it's a human watcher," said Caridad.

"Haven't seen much else," said Xander. "Lots of sea-birds, a couple of cows in the next field, that's about it."

"Could be someone scrying," said Andrew, nervously placing burgers on the barbecue. "Maybe Willow's checking on us."

"I'd know if it was her," said Caridad. "It isn't."

"Just keep on with what you're doing and keep your eyes open," said Xander. "If there is someone out there they'll give themselves away sooner or later."

The burners flared for a second, and Andrew flinched and dropped one of the burgers. "Damn it."

"Don't waste it," said Xander. "When I was in Africa there were times I would have killed for a Big Kahuna burger. Wipe it off and cook it properly, it'll be fine."

"Eww," said Caridad. "You can eat it then."

"No problemo." Xander reached down to pick up the burger, but couldn't see it. "Now if I was a burger where would I go?" There didn't seem to be any obvious holes or routes for it to disappear. He knelt to look under the table. There was something black there, pecking at the burger with a sharp beak.

"Well, here's our mystery watcher. Biggest damn crow I've ever seen."

Caridad knelt to look, as the bird glared at Xander balefully, dropped the burger, and said "Raven, asshole."

Caridad grabbed for it with Slayer speed, pinioning its wings against its body before it could escape, and lifted it into the air. The bird said "Oops! Busted."

"What are you?" said Andrew, "and what do you want? I compel thee, answer!" He traced a glowing symbol in the air.

"Really?" said the bird. "How exactly does that work? Because I'm not feeling much compulsion here. Not from a feeble little truth spell like that."

"Okay," said Xander. "You're obviously a pretty smart bird, you wouldn't be here without good reason. Feel like telling us what you want?"

"Let me go, and give me the rest of that burger really rare," said the raven, "and maybe just a little barbecue sauce, and I'll think about it."

"Why should we let you go?" asked Xander. "They say a bird in the hand is worth two in the bushes."

"Let me go and feed me and I'm in your debt. Keep me prisoner and I'm your enemy."

"What do you think?"

"It's telling the truth," said Andrew. "Or at least it isn't lying."

"Caridad?"

"It doesn't feel demonic. Not sure what the hell it is."

"Good instincts," said the raven.

"Let it go." Xander picked up the remains of the burger, wiped it with a paper towel, and put it on the barbecue.

Caridad put it down on the chair. It shook out its feathers and hopped onto the arm, and said "Just enough to warm it up a little and get the juices flowing. Oh, and I'm a 'him', not an 'it.'"

"Okay," said Xander, "feel like answering a few questions while Andrew heats that? Like what we should call you?"

"You'll figure it out soon enough," said the raven. It raised a wing as if to preen it, then lowered it to reveal a dark leather pouch about the size of a golf ball, held in its beak, hanging on leather thongs. It shook its head, tossing the bag towards Xander.

Without thinking Caridad caught it by one of the thongs as the raven took off, swooped around Xander, snatched the burger from the fire and disappeared into the dark.

"Caridad?"

"It's gone. Can't see it, can't hear its wings."

"Andrew, what do you make of the bag?"

Andrew approached it nervously, and cupped his hands around it without quite touching it.

"Something's in there. It doesn't feel evil, but it's some sort of magic. Powerful, I think."

"Caridad, put it down on the seat and back away. Whatever that is, it threw it towards me. I'd better be the one that opens it."

"Or we could get Willow," said Andrew.

"We can't keep calling Willow every time something magical comes up. I'll tip it out and take a look without touching it, after that we'll decide what we want to do."

"Well, don't say I didn't warn you."

"I won't." Xander picked up a couple of forks and carefully used them to loosen the thongs and pry the bag open without touching it. Something rolled out.

"That's an eye," said Andrew. "A blue eye. Not real, maybe glass or some sort of gemstone."

"Thank you, Captain obvious."

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies to authors of soulmate and soulmark stories - some of them are quite fun, but the fundamental idea is just a little silly. Tim Minchin's "If I Didn't Have You" is an interestingly realistic take on the idea:
> 
> http://youtu.be/Gaid72fqzNE
> 
> Full lyrics here  
>  http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/tim_minchin/if_i_didnt_have_you.html
> 
> See also the XKCD article on the subject which led me to the song:  
>  http://what-if.xkcd.com/9/
> 
> The other tune mentioned is, of course, "Everything is Awesome" from the Lego movie. Someone has put together a ten hour version: http://youtu.be/7R1nRxcICeE
> 
> It's canon that the apartment Jane uses in London actually belongs to Eric Selvig; see the comic prequels to Thor: The Dark World.
> 
> The Channel Islands are British Crown Dependencies, several islands off the Normandy coast. All were occupied by Germany during WW2. Alderney was evacuated in anticipation of the German invasion, and heavily fortified during the occupation. The Germans imported slave labour for this work, and built four concentration camps to house their prisoners. Alderney was finally liberated several days after the surrender of Germany, one of the last German garrisons to surrender. The camp sites were subsequently cleared, and one really is now used as a camping ground for holidaymakers.


	2. Chapter 2

**London: Wednesday AM**

Darcy peered out of the window of Jane's office and spotted a familiar-looking van parked across the road from the college car park. "We were tailed on the way in."

"Are you sure?" Ian joined her at the window.

"Positive. The white van, it followed us home yesterday too."

Jane looked up from her computer. "Someone must have noticed that Thor's out of town. What do you suggest we do?"

"I've already made some arrangements. We just need to wait a bit, then I'll take care of things."

**Bath: Wednesday AM**

Rupert Giles rubbed his eyes tiredly and stared at the computer screen. Xander looked out at him, and said "So we figured the best thing to do was get some photos, send them to you, and talk to you before we did anything too stupid."

"And nobody felt any urge to touch the eye, or do anything with it?" Giles tried to avoid glancing at Xander's eye patch.

"I'm feeling an urge to put it in, but Andrew and I have both played D&D, we've run into the Eye of Vecna."

"The what?"

"D&D magic item, gives you powers like seeing in the dark, seeing through illusions, disintegrating your enemies, that sort of thing. You have to cut out your own eye and put it into the socket and it's evil, you only get the cool powers if you hurt people with them."

"If you think that's bad," Andrew said from off-screen, "there's the Hand of Vecna and the Head. That one's just sick."

"I'll take your word for it," Giles said hastily. "So, to recap, the raven tossed the bag towards you, but Caridad actually caught it, and the raven flew off without giving you any instructions. Anything else?"

"Languages." Caridad was honing a sword inside the tent, but like all slayers had excellent hearing.

"Yeah, I nearly forgot," said Xander. "When we compared notes we realised that Andrew and I heard it talking English, but Caridad thought it was fluent Spanish. Not only that; I thought it had a Bronx accent, Andrew thought it sounded like Michael Caine. We think there were minor differences in the phrasing we heard, but nobody was taking notes so we're not a hundred percent sure."

"A translation spell, I suppose."

"Maybe," said Andrew. Xander turned his laptop so that the camera pointed at him. "When I saw it was a raven that carries an eye, the mythology that came to mind was the Norse gods. Odin sends his eye out with his ravens Hugin and Mugin so that he knows what's happening in the world. We know that Thor's real, and Asgardians speak that weird language that everyone seems to understand, maybe the ravens do too. It could be that."

"It's called Allspeak," said Giles. "The thought crossed my mind as soon as Xander told me about the raven, but I didn't want to bias you."

"Vi said you've met Thor; can we get him in on this?"

"Perhaps, but he isn't in Britain at the moment, it might take a few days, and as I understand it his friends are a little busy today. I'm due to meet him at the weekend, if it could wait until then?"

"If Odin wants us to have that eye, I'm guessing there's a good reason." Xander lifted the bag and stared at it with his good eye. "It might be something that can't wait until the weekend. Maybe I should…"

"No way," Andrew interrupted. "Even if we're right and it's Odin's eye, he's a fracking god and you aren't. It could fry your brain."

Giles smiled. "I must say it's always refreshing to hear you as the voice of caution."

"Yeah, well, you misuse a little magic, kill your best friend because you trust one of the powers of ultimate darkness, nearly end the world a few times, it sours you on messing with stuff you don't really understand."

"Okay," said Xander. "Nobody puts it in their eye socket. What the hell do we do with it then?"

"I know an expert on Norse mythology." Giles flicked through his address book, and added "a Doctor Randolph, he comes highly recommended. I'll send him the photographs and ask his opinion, maybe he'll have some suggestions."

**London, Wednesday Afternoon**

"Lewis is on the move," murmured Reg Bates, standing by a notice board and pretending to read a flyer issued by the college debating society. "Dark hair, knitted cap and a big coat, she's just come out of Foster's office."

_"You sure it's her?"_ His brother Brian was waiting outside in their van.

"Who else would it be?" He waited for her to pass then followed her down the corridor at a discreet distance. "Who else dresses like that in warm weather?"

_"A student?"_

"Too old."

Darcy stopped at the receptionist's desk. "Joanne, I'm going out to Starbucks, want anything?"

"No thanks, Darcy, I'm headed for lunch soon. Did you hear about that Doctor Silvers?"

"Kristin? What about her?"

"She's got another tattoo. Sometimes I just don't know where to look…"

Reg strolled past and waited by the lifts. "It's her all right, the receptionist just called her Darcy."

_"Right you are then. I'll get the van started, we'll get her as soon as she comes out."_

Reg followed Darcy into the lift, and the receptionist waited until it had gone then rang an internal number. "He's followed her out." Thirty seconds later Jane Foster left her office, followed by Ian Boothby, and headed along a corridor towards one of the other exits. The receptionist switched her computer screen to display feeds from cameras in the car park, and sat back to enjoy the show.

*

Brian opened the rear doors of the van, whistling innocently, just as Darcy came out, with Reg close behind. This was going to be easy money.

"Hey buddy, got a light?"

Startled, he turned to see another woman, a redhead in her thirties wearing Kevlar biker gear. "Don't smoke."

"Neither do I." She punched him in the stomach, hard enough to bend him double, then grabbed him by the neck and pressed fingers to his carotid arteries. In moments he was unconscious, and she lifted him effortlessly and heaved him into the van. "All right, Darcy?"

"Sure, Vi." Darcy finished with Reg and pocketed her illegal Taser, and Vi loaded him into the van. Darcy climbed inside, secured them with the cable ties they'd intended to use on her, then stabbed each of them with a hypodermic.

"What's that stuff?"

"Some sort of tranquilizer, that guy was going to stick me with it when I nailed him. I guess it was supposed to knock me out for a few hours. Found four more syringes in his pocket."

"Scotland Yard?"

"Scotland Yard." They slammed the rear doors and Darcy got into the driver's seat, while Vi went back to her bike. They drove off towards Victoria.

*

"Giles has some great contacts." Vi helped herself to a second bowl of chilli and a handful of crackers, and added some hot sauce. "I thought we'd be answering questions for a week; they took one look at those guys and told us to leave the rest to them."

"Apparently they're rent-a-thugs, not Hydra agents," said Darcy, "one whiff of being charged with terrorism and they'll spill their guts. I guess that Hydra must be scraping the bottom of the barrel."

"Or they don't want to risk their own personnel anywhere near Thor."

"But that confirms that there's still someone out there paying the bills, someone who wants to kidnap you or Jane." Ian was worried, and it showed.

"They think Darcy's the weak link," said Jane. "Which shows how stupid they are. She spotted them before I'd even noticed we were being watched."

"Yeah. They haven't figured out it's you, Ian." Darcy chewed and swallowed. "You're the one who's out alone on a canal boat most nights. You're low-hanging fruit."

"The police are leaking a story that they were taken down by Black Widow," said Vi, "I don't look anything like her apart from the hair, but it ought to be a deterrent."

"And Thor will be back in London on Friday," said Jane, "they'd have to be really dumb to try anything."

"Not just Thor," said Darcy, "He's got Steve Rogers in tow. Reminds me, Vi, I was going to ask last night but I got distracted. Do you want to meet him? Maybe come to dinner with us?"

"Meet Captain America? Awesome!"

Sighing, Darcy reached for the money box.

**Alderney, Wednesday Afternoon**

"Okay," Xander reeled in a tape measure and added the latest measurement to the plan he was sketching. "I think we have the layout of the tunnels figured out now. Has anyone noticed anything odd? Feelings of evil, ghostly presences, anything like that?"

Andrew shone his LED lantern around the walls again. "The whole place is creepy, but I guess that's because we know the sort of things they did here. But to be honest, it looks a lot less weird than I expected."

"I think there's more to this place than we're seeing." Caridad stood with her eyes closed and her hands slightly raised, as though feeling the air. "Maybe concealed tunnels, maybe some sort of portal. Hydra were into that stuff."

"Maybe we should try the eye." For the third time that afternoon Xander found himself reaching for the leather bag, and forced himself to stop. "Crap, whatever that thing is, it really wants me to wear it."

"I think we're all agreed it's probably a spectacularly bad idea." Andrew made an odd gesture, and a glittering symbol appeared in the air and faded; as it vanished, Xander felt the compulsion ebb.

"Why does it have to be Xander?" Caridad opened her eyes, and went to her backpack.

"Xander's missing an eye, he could put it into the socket easily. If it wasn't a stupid risk."

Caridad found what she was looking for, an old Nikon D50 SLR camera. "Maybe you just have to look though it. Xander could do that, but maybe a camera can too. Could we fix it to the front of the lens, take photos through it?"

Andrew thought for a second. "It's not far off being a really thick lens shape. If we put it in front of a normal lens it'll be like an extreme close-up lens, if the refractive index is anything like glass or sapphire you'd only be able to take pictures of things an inch or so from the camera."

"That's no good." Xander gestured at the plan. "There's thousands of square feet of walls and floors here, we couldn't scan it an inch at a time."

Caridad grinned. "So why not try the eye instead of a normal lens? We've got a spare body cap in the bag, if we make a hole in it we could tape the eye to that and put it on the camera. Like those guys who deliberately use crappy lenses so that it's art instead of technology."

"Lomography?" Andrew looked intrigued. "I know people who are into that, but I don't know much about it. If we use a fairly small hole it might work like a pinhole camera. It could be worth a try. What you think, Xander?"

"Make it so, Number Two."

"Number Two was the guy with the eye patch in the Austin Powers movies. Riker was Number One!" Andrew found the body cap and a lighter-sized butane blowtorch he usually used for soldering, burned a small neat hole through the middle of the body cap, then dug out a roll of adhesive plaster and a pair of scissors from their first aid kit, and cut a strip with a hole in it to hold the eye on the cap.

"McGyver strikes again."

Caridad shook her head. "McGyver would have better tools and a roll of duct tape."

"I forgot to pack it." Andrew put a clean sheet of paper on the floor, and put the body cap down at one end of it. "Caridad, take the bag and very carefully get it open and tip the eye onto this paper. Don't touch it the eye itself, we don't know what it might do."

"Why Caridad? Why not me?"

"Caridad isn't feeling any compulsion to stick it into her head."

"Okay, good point." Xander reluctantly handed the bag to Caridad, who carefully tipped the eye out onto the paper.

Andrew nervously nudged the eye with a pencil until the iris, a ring of darker material inside the main body of the eye, was uppermost. He peeled the protective backing from the plaster then moved it so that the hole was directly above the pupil. "Here goes nothing." He lowered the plaster until it was touching the eye, pressed it down slightly, then lifted. The eye came with it, and he cautiously moved it onto the body cap and pressed the tape down until it was sticking to the cap, then used more strips of tape to fix it a little more securely.

"Don't get the sticky under the cap or it won't fit properly."

"I know that." Andrew trimmed off the ends of the tape and carefully put the cap onto the camera.

"Okay." Caridad took the camera and switched it on. "This has to be the worst possible camera for this job, it doesn't even meter or let you use the flash without a compatible lens fitted, and there's no preview screen." She looked through the viewfinder, and shook her head. "This is just a dark blurry mess."

"Try taking some photos. Wait a second… Andrew, do something magical that doesn't show up visually, while Caridad takes a picture."

"Okay, I'll set it for an eighth of a second, shine the lantern at him and we'll see what we get. When you're ready, Andrew."

Andrew raised his hand in a Vulcan salute. _"Dif-tor heh smusma._ Live long and prosper."

The shutter clicked and Caridad looked at the screen on the back of the camera. "Okay, we got something, I think, I can just about make him out and his hand's glowing purple."

"Really?" Andrew and Xander crowded round to look.

"'Live long and prosper' in Vulcan is a spell?"

"Klingon is better for aggressive spells, Vulcan works well for precision and blessings. Don't knock it."

"O…kay. Caridad, you're the shutter-bug here, start taking pictures all round, Andrew can hold the light and I'll plot the positions on the chart. Don't forget the floor and ceiling. And have a think about what sort of cameras we should have the next time we do something like this, I'll talk Giles into buying them."

**Seville, Wednesday Evening**

Doctor Elliot Randolph stared at the pictures of the eye. There was no doubt in his mind that it belonged to Odin; he'd seen it a few times many centuries ago, before he'd deserted from Asgard's army. Giles didn't know that he wasn't human, which meant that he'd have to dig out a few historical and mythological references to back up his "opinion."

He poured himself a stiff drink and started to check airline booking sites. If there was any chance that Odin was coming to Midgard, he wanted to stay at a safe distance. Since there wasn't any way to get off-world inconspicuously, he'd have to settle for somewhere like Australia…

_**TBC** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See part I for disclaimers etc.
> 
> Wikipedia can tell you about the Eye, Hand, and Head of Vecna. The story of the Head is well worth a look.
> 
> Dr Elliot Randolph is an Asgardian deserter, first seen in _Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D._


	3. Chapter 3

**Alderney / Bath, Thursday Afternoon**

Andrew came into the damp concrete-lined tunnel and mouthed something, and Xander switched off his drill and took off his headphones and safety glasses.

“What’s up, Andrew?”

“Giles is on Skype for you.”

“Urgent?”

“I think he just wants a status report.”

“Tell him I’ll call him back in about twenty minutes?”

“Why twenty?”

“At the rate this is going, I’ll either be through the floor or need a longer drill by then.”

“Okay.”

Xander put on the protective gear again, sloshed a little oil down around the two-inch diamond-edged core cutter, and started drilling again.

*

Rupert Giles peered at the screen and tried to make sense of the plans Xander was showing him. “You think that there’s something… ah… hinky about this? Well, it would be odd if there wasn’t. Alderney seems to have been Hydra’s main centre for supernatural research outside Germany. They rounded up every expert they could find, mostly as prisoners, and most of them are buried there. Yet for some reason the old Watchers Council never seems to have investigated the site properly.”

“You never really said why.”

“I have my suspicions. Several of the Watchers pulled out of Germany during and after the war were somewhat… ideologically suspect, and seem to have been vetted very casually. The Chairman of the Council at that time had links to Oswald Mosley and the British Union of Fascists, and would have probably been interned if not for the influence of other members. I don’t think that whatever happened was as well organised as the infiltration of SHIELD, but the information recorded at the time, and the uses that were made of it, seems to have been biased in ways that would have focused attention elsewhere. Since everyone involved is long dead and most of the records were destroyed with the old Council there isn’t much to be done about it now, except determine what they might have been hiding.”

“You ever wonder if Travers and his pals were influenced by them? The way they treated slayers…”

“Goes back much earlier, I’m afraid. Now, where exactly have you been drilling?”

“Here.” Xander zoomed in on the north-east side of the complex. “So Hydra trashed it completely before the island surrendered, right? They didn’t just blow up their guns and evacuate the place, they stripped out everything they could, smashed it, and dumped most of it into the sea.”

“Yes. And your point is..?” 

“All of these complexes were supposed to be defensive. The Germans thought that the Allies would try to capture the Channel Islands before they could invade France. So their idea was to be as tough a target as possible, hold us off as long as possible.  
Hydra must have gone along with that; everything’s dug way deep into the rock, with blast-proof doors that are supposed to limit the damage from shelling and bombs. They had some gun positions partly above ground, of course, and ammunition bunkers deep down, with lifts and a miniature railway to move shells to the guns.”

“And?”

“There’s something odd here.” Xander highlighted a side-passage. “This goes down and east about fifty feet, it looks like they started to dig some deeper shelters or ammunition bunkers then abandoned construction. But it doesn’t quite add up if you look at it closely. It’s deeper than any of the other shelters, nearly below sea level, and there are steps here, here, and here, which would get in the way of transporting ammunition. And it’s not in a good position for any of the guns anyway.”

“Some sort of laboratory, perhaps, or deep cells for prisoners?”

“There’s no sign of them building anything like that. But what I did find was interesting. They’d put blast-proof doors in the tunnel here and here, and taken them out again completely. You can tell because there are recesses where the frames would have been seated into the walls, and some marks on the floor where they opened.”

“I don’t quite see…”

“If the doors were supposed to be protecting the tunnels from blast they’d have to open back towards the main complex, but if you look at the detailed plans they couldn’t have swung that way; this one would have been blocked by these steps, this one by the ceiling sloping down to the west of the door. Giles, they were built to stop something coming out of the excavated area.”

“That might make sense if there were laboratories there. They might anticipate explosions, or chemical leaks.”

“That’s all possible, but you’re missing part of the point. Why put in doors before you’ve finished building the place? They make the corridors narrower, and get in the way if you’re moving equipment and supplies in and out. When we rebuilt Sunnydale High the fire doors went in after we’d moved in the air conditioning plant, the shop equipment, and all the other big stuff.”

“Even so…”

“That could all just be someone messing up, but when we got down to that chamber at the end we all felt it was creepy. And the pictures we took through Odin’s eyeball support that.”

Xander put a blurry picture of a blank wall onto the screen. “This is the end of the tunnel they were supposed to be digging.”

“It looks… unremarkable.”

“It does. So do the other walls. But when we pointed the camera down we got this.” The new picture showed a rough concrete floor and, somehow, a sphere of light below it. “My guess, the pick marks at the end of the tunnel are misdirection. Apart from anything else, why would they put down concrete if they were still digging? Whatever they were after is below here. So I checked the government maps from before the war, back then there was a well directly above this chamber. That’s gone completely now, there’s the concrete foundation of a hut where it used to be, and the ceiling down here is concrete too, I guess the remains of the shaft are above it. I think that they found something down the well, linked their tunnel to it, then filled in the well above the tunnel. Before the surrender they capped off the lower part of the well and concreted over the tunnel floor to hide it.”

“Do you have any indication of the size of that sphere?”

“Once we’d spotted it we took pictures from some of the other tunnels and triangulated. Near as we can figure it out, it’s about sixty feet across and eighty below the tunnel, well below sea level, and about thirty feet north of the shaft. I’m guessing the shaft comes out in a cave near the sphere.”

“That’s going to be a bugger to dig out.”

“They capped it off with some boards and about half a metre of concrete. I hired a drill first thing this morning, I’ve got a pilot hole through already. Not a big one, but we can lower a camera and see what’s down there. If it’s worth going on I’ll hire a jack-hammer to open it properly.”

“Be very careful, Xander. Whatever’s down there has waited nearly seventy years, a little caution won’t go amiss.”

“You know me, Giles.”  
“I do, Xander, why do you think I’m worrying? Now, was there anything else?”

“You said you were going to talk to someone about the eye. Any word yet?”

“Yes, I heard from Doctor Randolph last night. He called me from the airport. believes the eye to be genuine Norse craftsmanship, and says it matches most of the legends of Odin’s eye.”

“He’s on his way here?”

“Unfortunately not; apparently he has a prior arrangement. He was on his way to New Zealand.”

“Crap. Did he have any suggestions?”

“Nothing we hadn’t already thought of. He agrees that it would be a very bad idea to put the eye… um… in, and thinks that it is probable that Odin can see through it at will. In legend his ravens spy for him, presumably he sends the eye with them when he needs a more detailed view. He advised treating it with respect, and avoiding anything that might seem disrespectful to Odin or his family.”

“Okay, so no mooning the eye.”

“That might be a remarkably bad idea. Odin is generally considered one of the most powerful gods, and somewhat lacking in a sense of humour.”

“Ixnay on the ooningmay, got it.”

“If All-speak works as I understand it, Odin and other denizens of his kingdom would not have problems comprehending Pig Latin.”

“Okay, Giles, I’ll try to remember. So what do you think is down there?”

“Possibly a mystical artefact of some sort, possibly some sort of portal. As I understand it, the Bifrost is the most convenient route to Asgard, but there are others.”

“When Thor was on TV he said there are nine realms, it could be a route to one of the others.”

“If so we need to be very careful. One of the realms is Helheim, the world of the dead. Going there would be an extremely bad idea.”

“Hell dimension?”

“Not exactly, most reports describe it as depressing and dull rather than hell-like, but leaving might be problematic.”

“Okay, we’ll be careful.”

**London, Thursday Afternoon**

“Your cousin is an evil woman,” Ian Boothby said as he and Darcy left the US Embassy.

Darcy shrugged. “You know she thinks most men are scum, there’s no way she was gonna help with your work permit without giving you a hard time. Believe me, if she really wanted to make things difficult you’d be on the No Fly list by now. A few awkward questions about your intentions and our long-term plans aren’t a big deal. Believe it or not, that was helpful for her. She’s watching out for me and making sure that you aren’t just using me to get a green card.”

“Maybe it would be easier if we were... well, if we were married.”

“I’m not getting married just to smooth your path through a little bureaucracy.”

“You know I wouldn’t do that.”

“What? Marry me?”

“Darcy, no, I didn’t mean that.” Ian was starting to panic. “You know I love you. I just meant we’re neither of us really ready for marriage quite yet, and we both agreed we’d give it a couple of years to make sure, and I wouldn’t want to pressure you into anything before you’re…”

Darcy put her hand over his mouth. “Just testing. Okay, panic button fully operational.” She ticked an imaginary check list with her finger and took her other hand from his mouth. “Relax. Now, what else do we need to do?”

Ian took a deep breath. “Let’s see… I’ve spoken to my cousin about selling my barge, he’ll take care of that. We can clear it out after Captain America’s been and gone, I can get everything I need to keep into a shipping container.”

“You could get everything you really need to keep into a couple of shopping bags. Incinerate that fucking sofa-bed for a start.”

“That goes with the barge.”

“For the love of god, why? It’s butt-ugly and incredibly uncomfortable.”

“It’s too big to get out without taking the cabin roof off.”

“Then how did you get it in?”

“I think the bloke who sold me the barge put it in that way.”

“Figures. What else?”

“I found my passport last night, it’s good for another four years. I don’t think I’m supposed to get any jabs before visiting the USA, but I’ll need a health certificate to go with the work permit, we’ll have to sort that nearer the time. Apart from that I think I’m pretty much sorted.”

“Okay, so we’re well ahead on getting you over to the USA, so the big thing now is the weekend. Let’s go get the car, we’ve got shopping to do!”

“Great…”

“I find your lack of enthusiasm for shopping… disturbing.”

“No, Darcy, not the Darth voice. You know you can’t do it properly.”

“Ian, I am your girlfriend.”

“That was terrible.”

“Shut up and get to the car.”

“Yes, mistress.”

Darcy mimed cracking a whip. “That’s more like it.”

**Alderney, Thursday Evening**

Andrew put a last strip of duct tape around the network security camera and its cable. “Okay, I think this is ready to go. It’s a tight fit, but once it’s through the hole it ought to hang with the camera more or less horizontal. We get power to it through the cable, and there are infra-red LEDs so we should be able to see in the dark, but we won’t get colour if that’s the only light source.”

Xander looked at the camera feed on his laptop. “It’s working but stop waving it around, you’re making me feel sea-sick.”

“Sorry. Okay, let’s go for insertion in five… four…”

“Just lower it down the hole, Andrew.”

“Three… two… one…” Andrew put the camera in, lens end first, and the screen went to black and white as it went down the drill hole. There wasn’t much to see anyway. “It’s just below the concrete now, the camera should be hanging level. Can you confirm?”

“Andrew, if you look over your shoulder you can see the screen for yourself. And yes, it looks like it’s level. Okay, we’ve got the shaft, the remains of the timbers, looks like rock walls, and a rusty-looking ladder. Are you seeing this, Giles?”

Over the Skype link Giles said “Yes, Xander. Well done, both of you.”

“Start lowering it slowly, Andrew. If there’s water down there you’ll hit it in about another fifteen feet, so slow down in ten and if I tell you to stop, stop right away.”

“Okay. Ten feet… eleven… twelve…”

“Hold it, Andrew. Okay, anyone think this looks damp?”

Caridad glanced at the screen. “Nope.”

“No.” Giles sounded tense.

“Okay, down another foot… and another… another… another… Nothing. Okay, if there’s any water in there the level is below sea level, which doesn’t seem very likely. Caridad, penny time. Try not to hit the camera.”

Caridad glanced at the screen, saw that the camera was wobbling backwards and forwards over five seconds or so, dropped a handful of pennies down the hole when she guessed the camera would be off to one side, and quickly knelt on the floor, her ear to the hole. “They’re hitting something solid. I’m hearing echoes, no splashes. We should have done this before we put the camera down the hole.”

“I wanted to be sure there wasn’t something nasty waiting to come out the hole. Demon earwigs or something.”

“Eww…”

“Any other noise?”

“Nada.”

“Okay, looks like we can keep lowering. We’ve got about sixty feet to go, so let’s up the pace a little…”

**Asgard, Thursday Evening (for want of a better timestamp)**

Loki stared into the scrying bowl. “This is boring…”

“I’m sorry, my lord.” Ethan Rayne bowed his head. “I really thought he wouldn’t be able to resist trying the eye.”

“He’s a little less stupid than you described. But no matter, they’re doing what I want.” He stood and swirled his cloak over his shoulders. “Send a messenger if anything of interest develops.”

“Of course, my lord.”

“And no invoking chaos gods to stir things up. I’ll do that myself if need be.”

“I look forward to it, my lord.”

Loki seemed to be about to add something, but thought better of it. He shifted back to Odin’s form and left Ethan’s apartment.

Ethan waited until he was quite sure that Loki was gone, then grinned. Things were going to plan… Ethan’s plan.

 

**Alderney, Thursday Evening**

Xander tried to punch up the contrast of the camera image, then changed the setting back when it didn’t help. “We’ve got the big cave and the dome, looks like they levelled the ground around it, the trouble is that there’s no light down there apart from the infra-red, so it’s hard to see what things really look like. That could be something solid, like steel, or some sort of force field, we just don’t know.”

“I could drop a flare down the hole,” said Caridad.

Andrew finished taping the cable to the floor to stop the camera shifting and shook his head. “Too bright, the camera sensor would burn out.”

“What about a glow light?”

“That’s pretty much monochromatic too. I don’t think it would help much.”

“It wouldn’t help us,” Xander said slowly, “but so far we’ve only used infra-red, if there’s anything down there with eyes they might see it and come to take a closer look. Might tell us what we’re up against.”

“You don’t think they would have noticed all the noise we’re making?”

“I stopped drilling hours ago, since then all we’ve done is drop a few pennies down there. A light might attract more attention. What do you think, Giles?”

“You have weapons ready?”

“It’s us, Giles, what do you think?”

“Then give it a try. If nothing happens I think I’m going to call it a night.”

“Wimp.”

Caridad found a pack of heavy-duty glow lights. “Ready when you are.”

“Bombs away.”

She snapped it to mix the chemicals, and dropped it down the hole. 

Several seconds later the camera image brightened.

Andrew stared at the screen. “From the look of the shadows it’s on the ground behind the camera. Couldn’t be much better. And I think we’re seeing a little more detail.”

“What does that look like to you?”

Caridad tugged her ear. “It’s like the dome is made of dark glass, with mist inside it.”

“It looks like a galaxy far, far away.”

“Andrew, no Star Wars references for the love of… what the hell is that?”

On screen the mist seemed to be thickening, acquiring shape and texture. Something huge and round, filling the dome.

“That’s no moo… ouch!”

“I warned you.”

“It looks… scaly.”

A dark horizontal line appeared, then they realised what they were seeing as it blinked open, revealing a glowing red eye with a black slitted pupil that stared hungrily at the light.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay on this one, for some reason I've been very blocked on it.
> 
>  _Previously_ \- Shortly after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Steve Rogers is invited to London for the Queen's birthday honours ceremony, to collect medals that should have been awarded to Peggy Carter many years earlier. Thor, Jane Foster, and their associates are also to be honoured for their part in defeating the Dark Elf invasion. Meanwhile Xander Harris, Caridad the Vampire Slayer and Andrew Wells are investigating an old Hydra base on the Channel Island of Alderney, and have made an unexpected discovery; what appears to be a forcefield containing something they have only seen as a vast reptilian eye...

**Alderney, Thursday Evening**

“Okay,” said Xander. “We’ve got one vote for it being the dragon Fafnir, one which we’re not counting for it being the Eye of Sauron, and two for it being this Jorm-thingy.”

 _“Jörmungandr,”_ Giles said over the Skype link. _“The Midgard Serpent.”_

“Can’t be a serpent,” said Caridad, “it has eyelids. Snakes don’t.”

_“The term ‘serpent’ was probably used very loosely. And there is no reason to believe that it has much to do with normal biology as seen on Earth.”_

“Loki’s supposed to be its dad,” said Andrew.

_“There’s more than one Loki in Norse mythology, and in any case we can’t rely on anything the myths tell us, there are too many discrepancies.”_

“Which of them is more dangerous?” asked Xander.

 _“Jörmungandr is supposedly destined to kill Thor and poison the sky during Ragnarok, the twilight of the gods,”_ said Giles, _“But my impression is he’s not interested in humanity. Fafnir is a transformed wizard, but he’s supposed to be dead. If not, he’s thousands of years old and incredibly powerful.”_

“Something like the Mayor if he’d got away with Ascending?”

_“That sounds about right. I really wish I’d asked Thor a few more questions about his family when he visited us in May. A lot of our stories are obviously wrong, it would be nice to know which ones.”_

“Can you get hold of him?”

_“As I understand it he’s not contactable today, but ought to be back in London tomorrow afternoon. He and Captain America are supposed to be visiting Bath on Sunday; I think we might change the venue to Alderney, if Willow can arrange transportation. At the very least we can discuss things with Thor.”_

Xander rubbed his temples. “Okay, bearing in mind that our access to the cave is currently a hole two inches wide drilled through more than a foot of concrete, what did you have in mind for me to do while we’re waiting?”

**The Bus, Over Germany, Thursday Evening**

_“…while we’re waiting?”_

“Keep recording their communications,” said Phil Coulson. “It sounds like they’ve found an 084. A big one.”

“These are supposed to be the good guys, right?” asked Skye. “Can’t we let them deal with it?”

Phil continued to listen to the sat-phone tap as he said “If this really is Jörmungandr it’s supposed to be a monster powerful enough to destroy the world. I’m not entirely happy about leaving them to deal with that.”

“It sounds like it’s contained down there.”

 _“I think you should wait for Thor,”_ said Giles. _“In fact I’d sooner you didn’t even try to open up the well until he’s there.”_

_“How come?”_

_“Even if it’s trapped inside the sphere, it may have magical or hypnotic powers. Thor should be able to advise us.”_

_“I’m not so sure,”_ said Xander. _“Maybe we shouldn’t even tell him unless we know what it is.”_

_“Why?”_

_“If Thor’s supposed to fight it and end the world, the last thing we want to do is get them together.”_

“Put together everything we know about Alderney,” said Coulson. “And try to find somewhere secluded for us to land the bus, or at least a quinjet.”

“Won’t be easy,” said Skye, “it’s a pretty small island. There’s an airport, but it’s basically a couple of short landing strips for light aircraft. There are houses and farms everywhere, the population is a couple of thousand people on three square miles of land. If you want to be inconspicuous it might be better to go in by boat. Don’t we have a Zodiac in the cargo bay?”

 _“Odin sent the eye, and that led us to the cave,”_ said Giles. _“There must be a reason.”_

 _“Doesn’t necessarily have to be a reason we’d like,”_ said Xander. _“Never met a god yet that had all its marbles. Just look at Loki. Or Glory.”_

“I like him,” said Coulson.

“Who’s Glory?” asked Skye.

“A god. They killed it a couple of years before Sunnydale sank.”

 _“Talking of gods... Spoken to Illyria recently?”_ asked Xander.

_“Xander, I hope you aren’t suggesting…?”_

“I wish they’d be more specific,” said Coulson, “I have no idea who that is.”

_“Can’t hurt to ask her. Show her the video, maybe she knows what it is. Same for that Randolph guy, he might see something we’ve missed.”_

_“It’s certainly worth a try. Meanwhile please keep me informed if the serpent or whatever it is reappears in the sphere, or there is any other change.”_

_“Okay, let me know if you have anything.”_

_“Of course. Good night.”_

_“’Night.”_

“Skye, as soon as you’ve located a good landing point see if you can find out anything about Illyria. May, I need you to set a course for Alderney; Skye should have a landing point for you shortly. And Trip, see if you can find out why the SRI never raided Alderney during the war.”

**Asgard, ????**

“What do you mean, they’re staying out of the cave?!!” shouted Loki.

Part of Ethan’s brain imagined Loki’s rant as the subtitles on the Hitler video that kept turning up on the internet, and he suppressed an urge to giggle, instead going for as much sorrow as he could convincingly fake. “My lord... My lord, it appears that they are being cautious. Harris appears to have matured, and shows little of the recklessness he displayed as a youth. They’re going to wait for your… for Thor… to arrive before they open the shaft.”

“And when will that be?”

“Two days if all goes well, your Majesty. If they wait until Rogers leaves it might be four or five.”

“I weary of these delays!”

“Might it not be better if Thor is there from the outset?”

“On a tiny island fifty leagues from his lover? Who will even notice?”

“If all goes as planned, the whole world will know. He is, after all, considered a hero. If he dies there they will have time to fear the devastation that follows. If Rogers is there too…” Ethan trailed off, preferring Loki to fill in the gaps.

“Perhaps. Yes. Perhaps there is something in what you say.” Loki settled Odin’s appearance around himself like a cloak, and swept out of the scrying chamber. In an hour or two, Ethan suspected, he would probably think that everything was going to plan.

Ethan turned his attention back to the bowl, and wiped a few beads of sweat from his forehead. He needed a new plan, and fast.

**London City Airport, Friday, Noon**

“That’s the plane landing, I think,” said Ian, looking out of the arrivals lounge window.

“Really?” Darcy asked sarcastically. “What gave it away, the huge Stark Industries logo?”

“That and it’s exactly on time.”

“You’re right,” said Jane, looking at a small instrument. “The ambient electrical field spiked as it landed, Thor’s on board.”

“We shouldn’t have to wait too long,” said Darcy, “somehow I can’t see anyone asking Thor or Captain America to go through a cavity search.”

“I wonder why they needed the plane,” said Ian. “Couldn’t Thor just fly them in by himself?”

“If you’d ever flown with Thor you wouldn’t ask,” said Jane. “I love him, but that hammer was designed for Asgardians to use, not us. There’s no windshield, the acceleration is brutal, and it gets pretty damned cold after the first couple of minutes. And no, Darcy, we did not join the mile high club when we tried it.”

“The fact that you thought I might ask that is just a little… accurate,” said Darcy. “Another illusion shattered.”

“If that turns up in Thor fanfic we’ll know who to blame,” said Ian.

“Don’t be silly, it’s the second or third most common trope in Avengers RPF, the ficcers are way ahead on this one.”

“People write fanfic about me and Thor?” asked Jane, horrified.

“You’re celebrities, of course they do. Not so much as Tony Stark or Black Widow, to be honest most people seem to see you two as kinda vanilla, but it’s there.”

“Never show Thor!”

“Why not?”

“I’m pretty sure he’d go berserk and smite a few authors.”

“Point taken.”

Ten minutes later Thor and Steve Rogers came out of customs, both wearing civilian clothing and carrying their own luggage. One of Thor’s bags was exactly the right size for Mjolnir, while Steve had an oddly sized satchel on his shoulder which Darcy suspected held his shield. Thor dropped his bags and swept Jane into a hug.

“You wouldn’t think he’s only been gone a week,” said Darcy. “Hi, I’m Darcy Lewis, that’s Jane Foster sucking face with Thor, and this is Ian Boothby, our intern and my boyfriend. Need a hand with your luggage?”

“That’s okay,” said Steve. “It’s not very heavy.”

“For you, maybe,” said Ian, eyeing the bulky bags. “When they come up for air we’re parked just outside.”

“Important question,” said Darcy, “Do you prefer Indian or Thai food, or are you more of a pizza guy? I have to warn you, British pizza isn’t wonderful.”

“Anything’s fine,” said Steve, “don’t go to a lot of trouble.”

“Okay, I’ll interpret that as Indian, they give bigger portions so it usually works better for Thor. We figured you’d probably want to take it easy for a few hours to get over jet lag. Jane thought you’d probably eat on the plane, but I’ve got some snacks ready back at the flat if you want them. Vi ought to turn up about six-thirty, and we’ll head out to a restaurant about seven.”

“Vi?”

“A friend of ours. She’s in the superhero business too.”

“The Lady Violet?” said Thor, finally paying attention to his surroundings. “This is excellent news. She is a _vampyrjeger_ , and capable of wielding Mjolnir.”

“Vampires are real?” asked Steve, working out the meaning almost instantly.

“Never met one personally,” said Darcy, “but there are girls like Vi with super-strength and they’re called vampire slayers, I’m pretty sure it isn’t a hoax. They helped us out big-time when Hydra tried to snatch us a few weeks ago, and again the other day. Car’s this way.”

Steve looked around as she led the way to a battered silver eight-seater Skoda people carrier, covered in dust, in which someone had used a finger to write ‘WASH ME!!!’ “It isn’t pretty and it handles like a pig, but it’s got a ton of luggage space and enough leg-room and head-room for Thor so it ought to be okay for you.”

“It looks fine. I was just thinking, the last time I was in London the Nazis were still bombing the docks and warehouses around here. There’s been a lot of changes.”

“I’ve got some books about the history of modern London aboard my boat,” said Ian. “I can bring them round tomorrow, if you’d like to borrow them that’d be cool.”

“Thanks!”

Darcy climbed into the driver’s seat and waited while they loaded their luggage and climbed aboard. “Buckle in. Do you want the scenic route near the Tower of London, or the boring one that only hits half as many traffic jams?”

“Let’s go with avoiding the jams,” said Jane, “we’ll do some scenic stuff when we go to Buckingham Palace tomorrow.”

“My lady Jane is ever wise,” said Thor.

“Works for me,” said Steve. 

“Aww, and I was all set to give my lecture on the Princes in the Tower and how badly historians screwed Richard…”

**Alderney, Friday Afternoon**

Xander, Andrew and Caridad were eating kebabs and French fries when a vintage red Chevrolet Corvette drove onto the camp site and stopped near their tent. A curiously bland-looking man in his forties climbed out of the driver’s seat, the passenger was a brunette woman in her twenties with a hint of Asian features.

“Nice car,” said Andrew. “Collector’s item.”

“They’re not setting up a tent,” said Xander. “Is it just me, or does she look a little like Faith?”

“I can see it, I guess.”

“Headed this way,” said Caridad.

“Mister Harris?”

“Who’s asking?” said Xander.

“My name’s Phil Coulson, this is Skye. I’d be grateful if you could contact Rupert Giles and let him know we’re here.”

“We being…?”

“SHIELD. The real thing, not Hydra.”

“And exactly how do you plan to prove that?”

“You can check with Giles, and I understand that Mister Wells can cast a truth spell. I’d suggest that he do so.”

“Okay,” said Andrew. “Who are you?” said Andrew, “and what do you want? I compel thee, answer!” He traced a glowing symbol in the air.

“Philip Coulson, acting Director of SHIELD. We’re here to keep an eye on your activities and try to stop anything catastrophic happening.”

“And I’m Skye. I used to be a hacktivist with the Rising Tide but I’m working for SHIELD now. My real name is Mary Sue Poots. Wow, that was weird, I never use that name.”

“Know the feeling,” said Xander.

“Are you evil?” asked Andrew.

“I don’t think so,” said Coulson, “but I’m probably biased.”

“Likewise,” said Skye.

“And what is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?” asked Xander.

“African or European?” Coulson asked with a small smile.

“Good answer,” said Xander. “Okay, what exactly do you mean by catastrophic?”

“I’m sure our definitions are similar,” said Coulson. “Anything likely to end the world, anything that aids Hydra, that sort of thing.”

“Also a good answer. I’d offer you some kebabs, but we’ve pretty much demolished them.”

“We already ate in one of the pubs in the town, but I have some steaks in a cool box for later, if we can use your barbecue to cook them?”

“Works for me. Let me talk to Giles first.”

**London, Friday Afternoon**

“This is a nice apartment,” said Steve Rogers.

“It’s Erik’s place but he’s out of the country right now,” said Darcy. “Okay, this is your bedroom on the left, it has its own bathroom, the kitchen’s through here, and the lounge here, with a little roof garden outside. I wasn’t sure how well they’d feed you on the plane so I’ve got some snacks and cold food ready in the kitchen, but leave some room for dinner tonight. I’m guessing Thor and Jane will be busy for the next hour or two” she added, gesturing towards their bedroom door. “Don’t worry, the walls are thick, you won’t hear too much.”

“Pleased to hear it.”

“Give me a shout if you need anything, Ian and I will be around. We’re moving to New York with Jane at the end of August, we still have a ton of things to sort out.”

“Thor mentioned it,” said Steve, moving his luggage into the bedroom. “If you run into problems getting apartments talk to Clint Barton, he has friends that live in Hell’s Kitchen, one of them might know of a place.”

“How far is that from the American Museum of Natural History?” asked Ian.

“A couple of miles,” said Steve, “I doubt you’ll find affordable apartments anywhere closer.”

“Thanks!” said Darcy, “Thor ought to have his email address.”

“I’ve got it on my phone if he doesn’t,” said Steve. “Okay, I think I’d better rest for a couple of hours, the food can wait. I’ll see you a little later.”

“Right,” said Darcy, once Steve had gone to his room, “let’s grab some lunch before the ravening hordes surface.”

**Beyond Normal Space and Time**

For now the green light is gone, but a faint red glow remains. Not warmth, exactly, though he could see that if it were there, just light that he knows humans would be unable to see. He remembers those who came before, bearing their banners of the skull and the tentacles. Could they be stupid enough to disturb his rest again?

He hopes so. He feels like a snack…

**_TBC_ **


	5. Chapter 5

**London, Friday Afternoon**

Steve Rogers found his way back to the lounge, where Darcy and Ian were working their way through a stack of papers. "Do I smell coffee?"

"There's a filter machine in the kitchen," said Darcy, "cream's in the fridge, just help yourself. If you want something to eat there's plenty of leek and potato soup in the slow cooker, and sandwich stuff on the table and in the fridge. Give us a couple of minutes to finish this page and I'll show you."

"No need." Steve went through, and helped himself to a bowl of soup, some rye bread, and a mug of coffee. There was a patio outside the window, and small birds were circling a feeder, helping themselves to nuts and seeds, while a larger green bird was perched on top of it and seemed to be trying to tear the feeder open.

"If any of your neighbours have lost a parakeet it's outside," he said as he went back into the lounge.

"They're wild," said Ian. "They've always been good at escaping and the population exploded in the nineties, probably because we've had a lot of warm winters. They're all over London and most of southern England."

"The last time I was here it was mostly sparrows and pigeons."

"No pterodactyls?" asked Darcy.

Steve grinned. "We ate them all. There's good eating on one of them there flying lizards, and chicken was rationed."

"And the score is Lewis nil, Rogers fifteen," said Ian, imitating a BBC sports commentator.

"Blame Tony Stark," said Steve, "he's already made every fossil and dinosaur joke you're likely to think of. Repeatedly."

"If he's so interested in dinosaurs, you should give him a coprolite for Christmas," said Ian.

"Coprolite?"

"Fossilised dinosaur ...um… dung. Some of them are quite pretty, especially if they're polished. Give it to him as a paperweight, but don't tell him what it is until he makes another joke."

"That might actually work," said Steve, "especially if I can trick him into licking it or something."

"Eww," Darcy said appreciatively. "That's evil. Whatever happened to the boy scout thing?"

"Darned if I know, I was never a member. The uniform was too expensive and I was never well enough to go to camp."

"Another illusion shattered."

"You try telling that to the youth of today," said Ian, faking a Yorkshire accent, "And they won't believe you."

The Python explanation that followed took most of the next hour.

**Alderney, Friday Evening**

"We could send a drone down there and fly it around the cave," suggested Skye, toasting a marshmallow over the barbecue.

"I really wouldn't like to try that yet," said Xander. "Whatever that thing is, I'm guessing it's trapped inside wards, or something of the sort. If you fly too close it might break the spell."

"And that would be bad," said Andrew.

"Define 'bad,'" said Coulson.

"Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light."

"That's crossing the streams," Coulson said calmly. Andrew pouted, and winced as Caridad gently (for a Slayer) slapped the back of his head.

"More realistically," said Xander, "whatever that thing is might be able to break out and we'd be at ground zero. Not my idea of fun."

"So what's your plan?"

"Wait for Willow to get here, she's our heavy hitter for this sort of thing. She and Giles will be here on Sunday and they're hoping to bring Thor, he ought to know more about this thing."

"And Captain America!" Andrew said excitedly.

"Oh..." Coulson looked uncertain, and Xander wondered why.

"You don't like Captain Spandex?"

"Actually I helped design his current costume. But he probably thinks I'm dead, if he remembers me at all. Loki stabbed me through the heart during the Chitauri attack. Although Thor might have told him, a couple of other Asgardians know."

"If he doesn't know it's a good opportunity to put him right," said Caridad. "Secrets always come out sooner or later, if you tell him now he won't think you're a ghost or the First Evil if you meet unexpectedly."

"She's right," said Xander. "Keeping that sort of thing secret is never a good idea. It can get people killed. You, if someone gets the idea you're a zombie or something."

"Did we rule that one out?" asked Skye.

"Definitely zombie free," said Caridad. "Believe me, we'd know."

"How did they do it?" asked Xander. "Magical ritual, or twenty thousand volts and a mad scientist shouting 'it lives!'"

"More of the latter, I think," said Coulson, "but I don't remember much about it."

"You can get Willow to check you magically if that'll help."

"Rupert Giles ran some quick tests after the canal incident, I think he's sure that there's nothing supernatural about it. Just some very dubious science."

"Well, if you need to talk to someone about it try Buffy, she's been there so many times she owns the T-shirt factory."

"If it becomes a problem I will. Now, getting back to the cave…"

**London, Friday Evening**

"Ceiling Cat is Heimdall, of course," said Thor, helping himself to another portion of lamb Rogan Josh, "but the symbolism of some of the other icons escapes me. Why do the voices tell the small cat to kill us? Why is there an invisible lawnmower?"

"Those are good questions," said Vi, who as usual was sticking to vegetarian options. "Though I think Heimdall is more like Nyan Cat. You know, flies along trailing rainbows."

"It's conversations like this that make me really glad I don't write real people fanfic," Darcy murmured to Ian. "Put this in a story and nobody would believe it."

"The drawn cats have their own symbolism, of course," Thor continued. "It was many months before I found the cat that symbolised my brother, but by then he was dead so I could not show him."

Steve mopped his plate with naan bread. "Okay, I'll bite, which one was it?"

"The small white cat with the hair-bow whose name contains his name, of course."

"Um… something Loki something?" said Ian. "Do you mean Hello Kitty?"

"I only realised when I learned to read your language. It has Loki's name, and the name of his child Hel."

"I always thought she was creepy," said Darcy. "The kitty, I mean, I never met Hel."

"Makes sense to me," said Vi. "If you dig deep enough the franchise is part owned by one of the demonic crime families, though they're more into loan sharking than summoning anything. Maybe they wanted to appease him to be on the safe side."

"The sad part is she's not kidding," said Jane. "I thought we had enough problems with evil elves and Hydra, but no."

"Most of the things I deal with would never come near any of you," said Vi. "Demons live in the shadows, you guys are just too high profile and dangerous to make good targets."

"Good to know," said Steve, pouring more beer into his glass.

"Doesn't mean Hydra aren't trying to recruit demonic powers, of course."

"There were rumours that they tried that during the war, I don't think it went well for them. I think your boss is supposed to be talking to us about it over lunch on Sunday."

"Damn, I knew I'd forgotten something. About that, would you mind if we moved the meeting? We've got a team excavating a wartime Hydra base in the Channel Islands, we were hoping you could both come out and take a look."

"They've got a meeting with some spies in the afternoon," said Darcy. "Not going to leave much time for a trip to Jersey."

"Alderney. Don't worry, Willow will be providing the transportation, it will only take a couple of minutes each way."

"Teleportation?" Jane said excitedly. "Do you mind if I come along too, and bring a few instruments?"

"I'll check, shouldn't be a problem."

"Us too," said Ian, "if she'll stretch to it. Someone's got to keep track of the data." Darcy nodded agreement.

"I remember there were rumours of a Hydra base there," said Steve, "but we never got confirmation."

"It's something that turned up in old Watcher's Council records when we went digging for info on Hydra. We're still trying to figure out what they were up to, Giles and Xander think you might be able to help."

"Xander?" said Jane.

"Sorry," said Vi. "Xander Harris. He's from Sunnydale, been fighting demons since he was a kid, back when there was only one Slayer. Helps run the Council now."

"He must be a doughty warrior," said Thor.

"Back in oh-three he stood between a bunch of us and a demonic preacher, gained time for some of us to get clear. Caleb gouged out his eye, but he was back fighting when Sunnydale went down."

"It will be an honour to meet him." Thor went to pour more beer, realised that the jug was empty, and held it up, roaring "Another!"

* * * * *

"…the blokes who came after us in May were the real thing," Ian said in the flat an hour or so later, "A couple of them had poison pills and used them before the police questioned them. But since then it's been amateur hour, someone's hiring thugs who aren't part of Hydra at all. Now my theory…" he paused and hiccupped "is that it's a bluff. They're trying to make us think that Hydra's left London. The reality…" He gestured meaninglessly with his beer bottle "…is that they're still here somewhere. Wouldn't surprise me if they've got something planned for tomorrow."

"Not saying you're wrong," said Darcy, "but I think you've had enough booze for tonight. We've got a queen to meet tomorrow."

"I wouldn't rule it out," Steve said thoughtfully.

"You can be pretty sure the Brits are on to it," said Vi, "they take the safety of the Queen seriously. I haven't heard anything specific, but a couple of the girls said that Spitfire is in town, she gives off a kind of vampire vibe so we always know when she's around. Wouldn't surprise me if some of the other British superheroes are here too."

"Spitfire? Related to the heroine in the war?"

"Same person. She got bitten and rejuvenated somehow, that's part of the reason why we sense her as a vampire. You know her?"

"We worked together a couple of times in the war. I hadn't realised she's still alive."

"Sheildra probably didn't want you meeting up and comparing notes," said Darcy. "SHIELD never had much of a presence in Britain officially. There's a lot less about Britain in the files you guys dumped than I would have expected, so maybe the Brits had an idea that there was something weird going on and took some precautions. She'd probably be part of that."

"I have met her," said Thor, "She is a formidable warrior."

"She kicked my ass when we sparred," said Vi, "Faith too. That takes major talent. You ought to invite her out while you're here, Cap."

"I doubt that there'll be time," said Steve. "And it's been seventy-odd years, it'd be a little weird."

"You're superheroes," said Ian, "of course you're weird" and hiccupped again.

"And that's enough of that," said Darcy. "C'mon, lover boy, let's get you to bed before I rethink that whole boyfriend thing."

"Maybe we'd all better turn in," said Steve, "tomorrow's going to be a busy day."

"Amen to that."

**RAF Northolt, 1.15 AM**

Normally quiet at night, the ground crews at RAF Northolt on the outskirts of London were hard at work preparing aircraft for the fly-past that would be part of the Queen's birthday celebration. The civilian part of the airfield was quieter, but still active.

Spitfire was waiting when the grey Starkjet landed and taxied to one of the civilian hangers. The blonde speedster watched as a platform loader rose to the boarding hatch and descended carrying a wheelchair and its occupant. "Professor, it's good to see you again."

"Always a pleasure," said Charles Xavier. "Let's hope we won't be needed."

**TBC**

In case you were wondering, London really does have feral parakeets. Who are very easy to bribe with nuts and dried fruit:


End file.
